This is the end

I am done. It is time for me to fade away.

Thank you for ten great years!

Bygones

9:06

Amy, the girl from nowhere, protagonist of THE PASSAGE trilogy.

It's Thursday and I have the day off. I have bills to pay, a job fair to go to, and all sorts of other crap as it's my only day off. I've doing maintenance and clean up on all of my electronic devices. 

My plants are doing very well. 

But in the interim, I am off for a quick soak in the hot tub. I pulled a muscle in my back last week, just reaching across the trim table. Now I stretch before work. I need to remind myself that I am doing physical labor and that I'm 48 years old. While I've taken to it pretty well, I am not 21 anymore, when I could party with abandon and then wake up at 6:30 and mow lawns in 90 degree heat for 8 hours. I can only imagine that I was made of rubber back then. and really stupid.

I finished Justin Cronin's City of Mirrors, the final book The Passage Trilogy. Firstly, its scope is amazing, spanning 1200 years after a viral vampire outbreak which completely destroys North America, and eventually the world. I cannot recommend it highly enough. 

While I adored The Stand, by Stephen King, The Passage makes it looks pedestrian in breadth. And "the Hand of God" doesn't come down and miraculously fix things, as in The Stand. No knock on King, as his work, published in '78, was like nothing I had ever read. I read it much later, after the unedited version came out (almost twice the size of the original at 1152 pages.) 

But it's been almost forty years since King wrote a masterpiece, and we live in a much darker, visceral world than in 1978. The world is running down. We are maybe fifty years away from devastating events that will change our planet forever. We soon will be living for the basics; food, water, protecting our loved ones, and surviving.  

The biggest threats? Climate change, rising oceans (see ya Florida, NYC and London, just to name a few,) oil running out (which will start wars between the strongest nations,) and a lack of fresh drinking water. 

The most brilliant aspect of Cronin's trilogy is that after a thousand year nightmare, the population returns to sustainable levels. Having suffered such horrendous loss, with all of the former nations of the world vanquished, humanity has a fresh start, and a real chance at not fucking it up this time. 

Fiction like this is why I began writing, why I will always write, and my hope that someday I will add something significant to our planet's literary canon.

Until then, you're stuck with this shitty blog.

Bygones!

Here Again

All is well. I am in constant motion of places to stay. Kinetic. I didn't think you could get used to a thing like that, maybe I have. This place is bedlam. Makes for good tales, at least. 

Exodus

2, 3, 4: Exodus; movement of Jah people! Oh yeah!
(Movement of Jah people) Send us another brother Moses
(Movement of Jah people) From across the Red Sea
-Bob Marley


Today I leave! My life has oft been awesome and oft been terrifying. But alack, never boring.

No more olde English, I swear.

Thanks to my friend, Linda, in her sixties, for letting me move my plants to her house. We work together and she is hip. Some people I've met out here have been so nice to me. Others have been complete assholes. That's how it goes.

Welcome my son
Welcome to the Machine
-Pink Floyd

Soon I will be free of my roommate, his paranoia, his debilitating OCD, his self hatred, his belonging to an evangelical sect of Christianity that condemns his homosexuality and his hypocrisy. Now that's what I cal a good day!

I will still get my chance to grow. Look out Maine, I'm (eventually) coming home!

But today, I step off the ledge into that wormhole of uncertainty that is my life.

Wooooo Hooooo! ..........

Game of Rooms

At a time like this, which exists maybe only for me, but is nonetheless real, if I can communicate, and in the telling and the bearing of my soul anything is gained, even though the words which I use are pretentious and make you cringe with embarrassment, let me remind you of the pilgrim who asked for an audience with the Dalai Lama.
He was told he must first spend five years in contemplation. After the five years, he was ushered into the Dalai Lama's presence, who said, 'Well, my son, what do you wish to know?' So the pilgrim said, 'I wish to know the meaning of life, father.'
And the Dalai Lama smiled and said, 'Well my son, life is like a beanstalk, isn't it?"

-Procol Harum, In Held 'Twas In I 

Are you tired of hearing me talk about looking for a place to live? I am too. Seems like a lifetime ago that Doctor Wu and I lived in Mum's old house in CT. I've lived in 3 places since December and go back to an extended stay on Friday. And poor Doctor wound up in Jersey! Oh, how the mighty have fallen. 

Some say that I'm a wise man, some think that I'm a fool
It doesn't matter either way: I'll be a wise man's fool

Work from 10 - 6:30 today. Tonight I'll pack the nightstand and winter close in the car and bring them to the storage unit mañana. 

The hardest part of finding a place is finding someone without a dog, as this is dog country. It will be good to leave my OCD roommate behind forever. He's a self-hating gay man who listens to bible-thumper radio and gets Watchtower Magazine (Jehovah's Witnesses.) Witnesses believe that the destruction of the world through Armageddon is imminent. Good luck with that. My journey continues, far away from this moron's cycle of madness. I leave him to wallow in his own despair. 

As for me, to brighter things on distant shores!

In the autumn of my madness when my hair is turning grey
for the milk has finally curdled and I've nothing left to say

Looking Around

Growing up (growing up)
Looking for a place to live 
-Peter Gabriel

It has become my mantra.  I've had today off and have been burning down the phone lines/emails/texts.

Then I work all weekend. I guess I'll have the 4th off. Time doesn't really seem to matter anymore. I just have my own schedule to keep.

When I actually get a moment to relax, I've been reading City of Mirrors, the final book in Justin Cronin's The Passage Trilogy. It's like The Stand, but it's a vampire virus that breaks out and destroys the world. The few survivors are left to fight the virals. Great stuff. Unbelievably heart wrenching and well thought out, massive in its scope.

Hee Haw, Walking Dead, Crack House

Well, I saw a place yesterday, but it was a glorified trailer. The husband was in a wife beater and Jacqueline, who I had spoken with on the phone, was young and emaciated. Too young for this guy. The half of the trailer that would be mine had stuff strewn all over the place. It was dark and damp. I thought, this place has double murder/suicide written all over it. If the zombies don't get me first.

So I followed the sage advice of one Homer Simpson;

Walk away slowly and don't make eye contact.

Next!

City of the Damned

Never move to a boom-town.

The problem is that I didn't realize that it was, until I got here. I read tons, but nothing about rents going thru the roof. 

I thought I had a place last night, I signed the contract and I asked him how much of a deposit he wanted. He said he could wait until I moved in. I awoke this morning to a text saying he had rented it to a friend for more.

Lying puss bag. It was age discrimination, which is his choice and I've experienced it before, but have the balls to say no to my face.

ME: It's alright, Mel. When my ship comes in, it's going to be big. My luck has to change. This much bad luck is unsustainable.

MEL: I don't know, Bo. You've been able to sustain it for quite some while.

So I look furiously while I have one week left to find a place. 

This will work out. It will. 

Sucks to be You (parts I-IV)

Welsh Flag

Sucks to Be You, part I
Spain lost to Italy in the knockout phase of the European Championship. Spanish Football had its best years ever while I was in Madrid, winning back to back Euros and a World Cup. They have sucked ass since I left. Is there a correlation? Of course there is.

Sucks to Be You, part II The Mets reacquire Jose Reyes and sign him to a minor league deal. They need help desperately, but I don't want a man who hits women on the Mets. 

Sucks to Be You, part III
Good to see that Mississippi is tackling all of the big issues;
https://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/02/17/1365045/-Mississippi-House-passes-Jesus-Take-the-Wheel-Act?detail=emailclassic&link_id=1&can_id=09b

Sucks to Be You, part IV
As if England has not had a bad enough week, they lose to Iceland in the knockout round of the Euros. It's Iceland's first tournament of any kind, ever! Congrats Iceland. 

Good luck to England dealing with an angry European Union, as well as Scotland and Northern Ireland, yes, Northern Ireland, threatening to vote on leaving the UK to join Europe. It's a turd sandwich and EVERY English person has to take a bite. 

But don't despair England, Wales is with you. The bad news is that there is nothing in Wales but coal. China might be interested.

BREXIT Revisited

Hey Little Sister
Shotgun
It's a nice day for a 
White Wedding
-Billy Idol

• My Brit friends in Madrid are freaking out about whether they'll be able to get work visas and stay in Spain.
• The UK will need to re-negotiate 45 new trade treaties. Good luck with that, limeys.
• For the time being, the US dollar will be the safest "reserve" currency.
• It's probably a good time to buy a Rolls Royce, if you are in the market. How do they handle in the snow?
• Scotland is already barking for another referendum on leaving the UK. They voted against it in 2014 but have strong ties to the EU.

Confused? So are David Cameron, Angela Merkel and the British voters. What is the EU? was the number one search in Britain on Friday morning. 

Shouldn't you do your research before you vote?

It's a mess. A big bloody mess.

The bright side? The British illustrate the catastrophe of looking before you leap. Take that, Donald Trump supporters.

If I wrote the BREXIT story as fiction, people would say it was ridiculously unbelievable. 

Here's another point; Britain conquers half of the world, sells countless Africans into slavery, sells opium to China's people, establishes Australia as a penal colony, and less than 200 years later complains about mass immigration in the UK. 

Karma, like gravity, is a bitch.

2 Weeks in the Meat Grinder

Been working ten hour shifts at Weed Science. Also harvesting and trimming. I have looked for a new place for two and have not gotten 1 response. I still have two weeks. The Queen just looks at me with hatred. He's such a good Christian! Besides, the Catholic Church hates gays, unless you are a priest/sexual predator, then you're free to join.

Good news! I think my buddy John will let me grow my ganja plants in his yard. He's a great guy, probably in his 60s. I'll give him half the yield and still have enough to use to get a job growing.

Thanks to Mum and Mel for running so many long distance errands for me. I could not have done this without you both.

Now, I just have to find an affordable place to live.

LAST BREXIT TO CHAOS

I was one of the few who predicted it would happen and it's going to be a bloody mess. The Pound is in free fall and the world markets have been traumatized. Lastly, this will be the death knell of the European Union.

The Trap is Sprung

I came home and there was a note posted on my door from my housemate, restating that I had to be out by Friday. I went upstairs and explained that Colorado State law requires 30 days notice. He just began screaming at me. I told him he needed help as he was obsessive compulsive and I tried to explain that I had been very OCD. As usual, he screamed over me, "You're obsessive convulsive!" 

I laughed and walked away. You can't reason with a person with OCD. There may be someone at work who has a place. I'll find out tomorrow. But the jackass cashed the check, so I have 30 days. If I hadn't wanted him to cash it, I would have stopped it. Him cashing it cements my 30 days.

Me: 1 
Dumb Fat Ass: 0

Orlando was a horrible tragedy. NO ONE should be able to buy an automatic weapon like an AR-15. No one.

The governor of Florida, Rick Scott, was asked what could be done to keep this from ever happening again. He said to pray. 

You have to be fucking kidding me. 

Thanks

Thank you everybody. Sometimes I forget how visceral I am when I write. And I'm feeling much better. It's just been a brutal 24 hours.

6 Months

As of today, I've lived in Denver for 6 months. Damn!

Another Year Bites the Dust

Thanks for all of the birthday wishes. I received birthday wishes from Europe, South America, North America and Australia. Wow!

USA is playing Costa Rica. It's a must win for the USA. If they lose, they probably will not make the knockout phase. Costa Rica is a great team. This game could mean Klinsmann's job as head coach.

I planted my cannabis plants in 5 gallon pots yesterday. Now they need to grow, grow, grow. My first grow. I am very excited.

Penalty kick to the USA! 7th minute. It was a good call. Dempsey buries it! 1- 0 USA.

It's been sunny and warm, with a threat of thunder showers in the afternoon.

My new Samsung 7s phone is amazing. Thank you Mel!

USA beat Costa Rica 4 - 0 to, very surprisingly, move to the top of their group. Columbia plays Paraguay later tonight.

The New Phone Book's Here!

I finally got my new checks from Wells Fargo with my new CO address. It's like when Steve Martin saw his name in the phone book in The Jerk; "I'm a real person! I'm somebody now!"

It was 84 today but it's already cooled down to 66.

The new Roots has been great. Kunta Kinte, Kizzy, Chicken George and the whole crew. This version included Kunta and other slaves fighting for the British to get their freedom.

Meet the clones.

They are one hand tall. 

Attack of the Clones

I finally got my clones! They are clones from other female plants. Two are Indica (Blueberry) and one is a Sativa hybrid (Girl Scout Cookies.) I will probably plant them into pots on Sunday, my 48th birthday. Happy birthday to me!

The re-imagined Roots is great. The first episode was amazing. 

Pitt is up 2-0 over San Jose in the Stanley Cup Finals. I hope San Jose can even it up at home.

wELCOME to the gROW hOUSE

Plants ready to be de-fanned

First off, let me thank all of you who have served in the armed forces. You are awesome. Thank you for your enormous sacrifice. And a special shout out to our Mel, who served in the Navy reserves for something like ten years, our third generation, from the Mum's line (of course!)

Scenes from the Trim Table;

WOMAN: (in here mid-50s): Yeah, I hate jury duty. Last time I was called, I told them, "I'm a felon. I can't vote. Why would you want me to sit in judgement of someone else.

The three of us were silent. I did not know how to answer that. What's the etiquette? 

a) Ooh, you've hit the Big Time. My family has only petty criminals that served less than a year. 

b) Violent or non-violent? (as I grip my shears and adjust them to a good stabbing angle) 

c) I am an anarchist and I salute your vigor!

WOMAN: Well what happened to your foot?
MAN: (24 years old): I was shot.
WOMAN: What?
MAN: My cousin was all drunk and on meth. He was waving a round a sawed-off shotgun. I told him to chill. He said it wasn't loaded. Then it when off and he blasted my right foot and leg. His girlfriend drove me to the hospital. They shot me up and told me to come in the next day to have it amputated.
ME: Fucking hell dude!
MAN: After a few hours, I had resigned myself to losing my leg when a vet, who had overheard the conversation, came over and said "Fuck that." Go see these guys. He sent me to doctors who take care off wounded vets. They saved my foot. It still hurts like hell, so I use CBDs and THC, but I still have my foot.

In 2014, we had 10.54% of death from shootings. 

Great Britain - 0.23
Germany - 0.07
Mexico - 6.34

We have almost twice as many shooting deaths as Mexico! 

The only thing the NRA does is sell more guns. That is their only purpose. I have nieces and nephews (the Smith kids) who were traumatized and haunted by the fact that their friends lost siblings in the Sandy Hook shootings. I was there,when they had a tribute after Brendan's little league game, for one of those killed. End the madness, now!


Editor's Note:

This is also why you steer far away from people who do meth and get shit-faced with a sawed-off shotgun.

Turn It On Again

You're just another face that I know from the TV show
I have known you for so very long, I feel you like a friend
Can't you do anything for me, can I touch you for a while
Can I meet you another day and we will fly away

I can show you I can show you some of the people in my life
I can show you I can show you some of the people in my life
It's driving me mad it's just another way of passing the day
I, I get so lonely when she's not there

-Genesis, Turn It On Again

< Archer









For the first time since I moved to Denver, I have my own TV in my room. 

Best TV Shows I've been watching;

Game of Thrones
Even better than the books, much better paced and more focused.

12 Monkeys
Mind blowing stuff. Time travel is a bitch. And..., the character Jennifer Goines quoted Genesis' I Know What I Like in episode 5 of this season.

Orphan Black 
Call it Game of Clones. Tatiana Maslany plays many different characters and is awesome.

Archer
Inappropriate beyond belief for a cartoon. Sex, alcoholism, violence and spies. Fucking awesome.

American Dad
Just insane and hilarious. They skewer every stereotype, and they often sneak in at least one joke, per episode, that rings true as hell as social commentary.

Here Is No Why

10:52

And all the time that's passed me bye...
It hardly seems to matter now, not now
-Genesis, The Musical Box

I woke up at 6:30 and drove to work, only to see Joe standing out there, explaining there was no work today. Apparently the customer fucked up, so I was told. Poor Joe, it sucks to be the messenger. And our scheduler has jury duty, to add to the confusion. So I am home. Trying to sort through all my shit after 6 months of being transitory. And the car. And navigate through the thorn bush that is my finances. I'd rather be at work. At least I get paid.

But I don't see the calls making themselves, so here I go.

- - -

Congrats to the San Jose Sharks for making the Stanley Cup Finals for the first time ever in their 25 year history. They started the year I came home from Jamaica! My friend, Tamara, grew up in the bay area and went to games with her dad, so I am on the bandwagon!

I found the following meme on the Internet;

Well, I think this is the year. I am predicting that they win the Cup.

18:55

Calls were made, I cleaned my car and bought everything into my room, which now needs to be cleaned again. 

I'll be working Fri., Sat. and Sun. Monday off, maybe? I have no idea. I think I'll be working 7 days a week for a while after that. I'm okay with that. 

Politics and Idiocy in the Time of Powdery Mildew

I'm so sick of all the Hillary/Trump news. Hillary won't debate Bernie again because she'll get her ass kicked. Trump is like a puppy, begging Paul Ryan for his endorsement. Why can't we have an election in six weeks like Europe? That was heaven.

I heard the following things at work this week;

ME: What's your daughter's name?
WOMAN: Cartel Monet.
WOMAN 2: That's nice.
WOMAN: They told me it was a boy so I had all boys names picked out. Cartel was the only one that fit a girl.
Really? Did it really fit? You know that's a name for the mob and gangsters, right?

MAN: He's always saying, "Dude, I have like 12 toilets in my house. I can shit all day.
ME: Is there a reason why that would be desirable? 
I've shit all day, but it was like dysentery. It was not cool. It also caused a hernia.

I'm sure you heard about this flack against transgenders using the restroom they identify with.

“He says he’s going to withhold funding if schools do not follow the policy,” Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick of Texas said this month. “Well in Texas, he can keep his 30 pieces of silver. We will not yield to blackmail from the president of the United States.” -NY TIMES

He said this today after 11 states filed a suit against the government in protest of the new transgender bathroom law

Texas was joined by Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Utah, West Virginia and Wisconsin, plus Arizona's Department of Education and Maine's governor. -REUTERS

 Texas high schools are ranked 28th in the nation. Arizona is 30th, tied with Oklahoma. Alabama is 37th. Louisiana is 47th. Do these states honestly want to lose federal funding? The scary thing is that they'll just become even dumber. 

And finally, I've been dealing with powdery mold on plants I've been trimming and de-fanning, which is depressing. I wear a mask, so I'm okay, but it's not cool that they sell it. As far as regulations have gone, they need to go much further. Maybe the new states to legalize will do a better job.

Over the Mountain

MADRE DE DIOS! I have had so many tech problems this week. 

But I'm back. I work in a laboratory. I spoon hash into plastic clam shells. I like the folks there. It's a fun place to work.

I miss you all. 

Thanks to all of you who have read my blogs for almost 10 years.

10 years? 9.5 to be exact.

I am starting to pay down my credit card debt. Bit by bit. Blow by blow. 

Matt Harvey is getting shellacked by the Nationals. The fact that his fielders can't catch a ball doesn't help. It's 9-1 and Harvey is pulled after 2 and 2/3rds. This is just ugly.

What I've Learned This Week

1.  Pepé Le Pew was a sexual predator. Mistaken identity with a cat does not excuse such behavior.

2. The Pink Panther cartoon character sold us all down the river in the name of insulation. 

3. Rocky betrayed Bullwinkle. Bullwinkle then stole Mr. Peabody's Wayback Machine and went back in time and slaughtered Rocky and his entire rat bastard family.

The Difference a Day Brings

Well spank my ass and call me Gwen! My prediction came through and the Capitals won 3 - 1 to force game 6. And Bartolo Colon hit the first homer of his 19 year career, and it was in the second deck. The Mets also moved into first place alone for the first time this season. And Harvey's fastball hit 97, so maybe he has really recovered from Tommy John Surgery. That would be great.

While we were trimming, the sirens blew for a tornado warning, so we got out of the warehouse and waited ten minutes in the main building, but nothing hit near us. I don't think any hit Denver, luckily. --- Nope, just checked The Denver Post. 

Okay. It's 21:14. I need to eat and then relax before bed. Back to the lab mañana at 7:45.

13 Days, Sun and Snow, Caps on the Brink, and a Bout of Gout.

Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.     

Bob Marley

Today is my first day off in 13 days. I had a gout attack on Thursday night. It kind of came out of the blue, like it always does. It swelled up like a Ballpark frank in an hour. I took a lot naproxen and it calmed down. Smoking helped too (it's an anti-inflammatory.) I was able to get to work on Friday and then got a script for prednisone filled from my dr. in CT.

Last weekend saw snow. Tues thru Fri, were sunny and hit the 80s by the end of the week. Today is 46F and raining, a good soaking rain. Gray all day, which is very rare.

And at 17:00MST, the Washington Capitals take on the Pittsburgh Penguins. WAS is down 3 games to 1. But they have games 5 and 7 at home, if they can extend the series.

PREDICTION: WAS 3 PIT 1

Days in and Daze out

All is well. I'll work at Weed Science all week, which is fun. They are nice folks there. 

Today was 58F. Tomorrow will be 70F. It's like moving from movie set to movie set how quickly the weather changes here.

Turn and face the strange
Ch-ch-changes
-David Bowie

The Caps lost tonight and are down 2-1 in the series. Game 4 on Wed.

I am tired. My next day off is Sat., which will mean I'll have worked 13 days in a row. I'm a 47 year old bad ass. 

And don't you forget it.

Pot Luck

Mighty Hogweed is avenged.
Human bodies soon will know our anger.
Kill them with your Hogweed hairs
HERACLEUM MANTEGAZZIANI
Giant Hogweed lives!

-GENESIS

I walked out of the door to go to work at 7:15 and my car was covered in snow. It's May 1st. Did I move to the southern hemisphere and not remember it? The stars are still those I remember from the north. Every morning I either need sunglasses or the snow brush. It's a toss up. 

It's supposed to be 58 on Monday and 66 on Tues. Spring in Colorado - it's weather pot luck. 

Mañana will be my 9th straight day of work. I work 49 hours this week (week ends on Sunday,) so that's 9 hours of overtime. I am finally chipping away at my debt.

It's 3 am on Monday, but I came home from work and collapsed at about 20:30. Time has no meaning to me anymore. I sleep when I'm tired and do waking stuff when I am conscious. But things are good. My room is in the basement with tiny windows that only let me know if the sun is out or not, so I'm rather insulated. My housemate, Dino, is a nice guy, but after being social at work for 1/3 of the week, I like to be alone. For a year it was just me and my kitten, Dr. Wu. Now the good Doctor, who is no longer a baby and is a healthy 14 pounds, is in the loving care of Mum. That was a good call on my part because they get along famously. My life is far too psychotic to have a pet and they take care of each other. It makes me happy. Doctor Wu is an awesome cat and Mum is the best mom I ever had. Only one, actually.

Okay, I am far too schmaltzy at 3:29. But fuck it. Being grateful is the only pure emotion there is. I just yawned, so I think it's time to snag 3 more hours of sleep before I get ready for work. I go to Weed Science again mañana, where I pack 1 gram packages of hash all day. I like it there. The people are cool as hell and I just pop in my earphone (as only one ear functions) and listen to Rush, Genesis, Porcupine Tree, King Crimson, etc., and package my ass off. Or I chat with Rob, Tamara, Travis, Justin, Berry. etc. 

It could always be so much worse, like having your leg in a bear trap.

Scare Crows

I'm moving forward. Things are gradually looking up.  But I'm still cautious. If you can name the movie that this picture is from, then you are a true sci fi fan.

Wait for it.....

It's PLANET OF THE APES and it changed my life. Post-apocalyptic fiction! I have loved it since I was 12.

Do you remember when THE DAY AFTER aired? It was supposed to be a very realistic and disturbing depiction of nuclear war. It was maybe '82 or '83. It sucked. Disjointed as hell was just a fart of a movie. THREADS, done about the same time by the BBC, was disturbing and realistic as hell, and therefore awesome. 

I remember that once Mum asked me if I was scared about nuclear war, because Reagan was a war monger and possibly (and sadly) already being compromised by Azlheimer's disease. I hated him, but I wish that on no one. But let me be clear, he was an evil douchebag.

I said that I didn't worry about it because I knew we were in the blast radius of NYC and that we would all be vaporized, wouldn't know what hit us. Wouldn't have to fight radiation sickness, starvation and rats the size of dogs. She said something about me being a very strange kid and then cooked Kielbasa for dinner. I took it as a compliment. I was happy to be "strange" and I love kielbasa. 

On the 7th of May, I will have been living in Colorado for 6 months. On the 9th, I will have been working in the cannabis industry for 6 months. 

I'd like to thank Mum and the Seester for all their support. Just knowing that they were invested in me through all of this was crucial. When I drove cross country alone, they were with me. And Kev and Smith, who came out to visit me, and paid for most everything, I am blown away. I must have done awesome stuff in other lifetimes to have friends like you.

Thanks to all of you who have read my blogs for the past ten years. You can't understand what it means to me. 

Life isn't always easy. We all know that. But the fact that my life is often batshit, but entertaining to all of you, gives my life purpose. I've already experienced more than I ever could have imagined, so cheers.

Live your life. Live your dreams. No one else will live them for you.

In The Light

That a creature could be so lonely
It became my deepest wish
To give her my love
To embrace her forever
And to have her find some peace
She who was so lonely
Came with volumes of feeling I have never known
Except perhaps for Mary
And she was always my sister
And she was always my sister

- Robert Fripp

Days go by and I am growing cautiously optimistic that things are turning around. Thanks to all of you who have been supportive. I've been down and out in Beverly Sills, but this too shall pass. 

Thanks to the Seester for getting me a new Samsung Galaxy 7s! If you've seen the ads with Little Wayne, it's water resistant. So just to prove it, I peed on it. Bad call, cuz now I only use it on speaker phone. I only hear out of one ear so I can't risk getting pee in it.

Here Again

I'm not present

I'm the drug that makes you dream

I'm an Aeorostar

I'm a Cutlass Supreme

In the wrong lane

Trying to turn against the flow

I'm the ocean

I'm the giant undertow

-Neil Young

It's been a mad couple of weeks;

• The movers delivering my furniture without any warning and I had to get a storage locker.
• I only met Dino, who offered me a place to live, because I worked at that dispensary for 7 days before I got fired by that crazy woman
• Pat and Kevin came out for a visit in a blizzard. We had a GREAT time.
• I've been working for 2 weeks at a lab called WEED SCIENCE. I'm labelling and packing hash budder, shatter and sugar, which is high THC potency stuff, a lot of it medical.
• Two workers got bitten by Brown Recluse Spiders up at a shithole grow in Lafayette. They are deadly. Weed monkeys need to unionize. Now!
• I wrote a new short story a few weeks ago. I editted it today. Futuristic dystopian stuff. I always loved that genre, way before it was popular.

Time Warp

April 3

Hello House. Are you there? It's me. Jay.

Sorry to disturb you, but I really need to find you. I've given up on religion, self help books, the entire state of Connecticut, ethical politicians and women who won't even consider dressing as Wonder Woman on special ocassions. And dogs (sneeze, wheeze.)

But you, I still belive in. Not the WMCA where you have to sleep next to a motorcycle cop or an Indian. Not a storage locker that I live in, cook on a toaster oven, pee into an empty milk jug and get into work 20 minutes early and use the shower there. I guess I'll need to go au jus on the weekends. I believe that you still exist and that I can find you. A room? A studio? Under that bridge on 6th Ave?

Do you believe in me, House?

April 12

Let's do the time warp again
-Rocky Horror Picture Show

Apparently, yes. I found a place to live with someone at my new job, which is bizarre because I don't work there anymore. I was fired on Thursday. My boss, a skinny small woman who is only there because she sleeps with the boss, was intolerable. She's well hated. I was ready to quit because all she does is scream at people. She also treated us like dirt. So, that same day I called my old boss, who I left  on good terms with, and started the next day.

Oh, yes. The movers called on Wed. morning, saying they were ready to deliver. "The fuck you are! You were suppossed to give me a 3 day window. So I had to leave work and rent storage nearby.

It was an awful two weeks but I am out off the extended stay. Next place I get will be my own.

The good news? Kevin and Smith are coming to visit on Thurs. night! My friends of 30 years are going to be the first to visit. Woo hoo!

Dream of the Butterfly

It's been a long crazy week. The guys I was supposed to live with screwed me and rented it out to someone else between when we shook hands on Sunday and Sat., when I was supposed to move in. I even confirmed with an email. He claimed he left a message but did not. Nor did he text. Pussy. I'd kill him with my bare hands. But that's illegal. But if I was in prison, at least I'd have a place to live.

The pros and cons. Literally.

I had a deam that I was a caterpillar. After doing the larvae scene for a while, I cacooned myself up and went down for the obligatory transformational nap. When I awoke and smashed my way out, I had beautiful green and yellow wings. And I could fly! The wind was my mistress and my carriage. I soared over mountains and oceans. The entire landscape was my birdseye view. Then I suddenly found myself over New Jersey, sailing down Route 17 S, weaving in and out, freer than I had ever known..., until I hit the Hess truck. What was the last thing to go my mind? It was my asshole.

Damn. I didn't even know Hess was stilll in business.

And I'm hovering like a fly
Waiting for the windshield on the freeway
-GENESIS

TURN THE PAGE

It's just the age

It's just the stage

We disengage

We turn the page

-Rush

Well, I was ready to start my new job on Monday. but my boss begged me to stay for another week. 

I have not had work either Sunday nor today, and Sunday I drove all the way into Denver to find out. She sent out a revised schedule on Fri to everyone but me.  So, I say unto she..., fuck you. Unionization is coming. You'll no longer be able to get away with being the Queen Bitch, beacuse there will be more laws. 

It's not the end, it's a beginning.

VDK

Thursday

It took over an hour to dig out my car, which had been covered in solid ice. Then, cars were all over the place on 225 and I was rear ended. I went to the hospital to check my head and to document it. I may have been slightly concussed, but probably not. But it was a jarring hit. My head never hit anything but the belt did what it should, and I got a bit of whiplash. He hit me from behind, so hopefully it will all be covered. It can still drive, which is good. And I'm alive, so that's fucking awesome. But the trunk is a mess. I was pretty shaken up, but I'll be okay. My first Denver blizzard really sucked ass.

Sunday

I am not going to miss working for these assholes. Even though it's Easter, I went to work, only to find out that it had been cancelled, the the guy there said a lot of people had shown up. Fuckers. 5 more days and I am gone.

But, I finally found a place to live! I'll live with 2 other guys and we are all about the same age. We have a huge backyard, with a locked gate and a told wooden fence. I may be able to grow my cannabis outdoors! The sun is cheaper than powering lights.

So, by April 3rd I'll have a new job and a home. It's in Thornton, to the north.

Selene: The Blizzard of '16

Don't let her spicy latina name fool you; this storm is one cold bitch.

We were not supposed to get much accumulation in Denver. Wrong!

The snow was coming down faster than the rear windshield defroster could melt it. I left at 7. I went about a mile and then turned around and came home. That took an hour.

The guy on 850 AM said, "Going uphill is virtually impossible."

Damn. And he was right. It was that bad. SUVs spun out everywhere and the Toyota just kept chugging. It was slippery as hell. A guy slid into the front Toyota bumper. We exchanged info but it didn't look like there was any damage. It just sounded awful.

I accepted a new job yesterday. I will be working for a dispensary, so this is a good move. It will soon mean better pay as well.

Soundtrack to Blizzard Selene:

Tales from Topographic Oceans (disc 1) - Yes
A Saucerful of Secrets - Pink Floyd
Brothers in Arms - Dire Straits
O.R.k. - Inflamed Rides

DIA, the airport, is closed until further notice. It's a whiteout out there. My car doors were frozen shut. I-70, I-25 and I-76 are all closed, both ways from Denver. They say this is the worst storm in 8 years. 90,000 homes are without power. Traffic lights are out. When you look outside it looks like a scene from The Shining.

Yesterday it was sunny and 72F. 

Off the Grid

 Norway

Things have been batshit crazy. Today I went to work, but there was no work. They sent an email at 8:30pm. Everyone checks their email after 8 on Friday night, no?

It was icier than fucking Norway and I skid out three times. There were over 25 accidents in Denver at 7:10 am.

I did not get the apartment. I wanted, but it's probably for the best.

My extended stay is like the Overlook Hotel in the Shining. The end of each hallway is painted blood red, like the bathroom where Jack Nicholson meets Grady. There's a hole in the carpet under the breakfast bar. I realized what had happened when I went to use the iron and it had berber carpet fused to it. The lady at the desk said, "They'll make you pay for it."

"It was like that. Did nobody check that room after the last folks checked out? The smoke alarm is hanging from the ceiling."

"Oh?" she said.

I'm thinking about becoming a survivalist and camping in the foothills. Off the grid.

State of the Onion

Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me
Other times I can barely see
Lately it occurs to me 
what a long, strange trip it's been
-The Grateful Dead

Because the place where I usually work is out of weed to trim, I've only worked about 23 hours in 4 days. So, I will probably work 7 days this week. It was inevitable; like global warming, wars over religion (fucking morons,) and Cher retiring.

Luckily, I like my job.

Keep trimming..., just keep trimming!

I like the west. It's so different. They move way slower than the Northeast. 

The Fall of Giants

It's only mid-March, but we've already had several rock and roll casualties. David Bowie died on Jan. 10. He was a visionary and an amazing talent, always changing, always innovating.



 Glenn Fry died on Jan 18. He was an egotistical douche. Growing up in the 70s, with a Mum who always listening to AM radio, the Eagles' soft, adult rock, easy listening, AM friendly, wussy music was always on. I remember one summer, down the Jersey Shore, I heard One of these Nights 5 times in one day. And I thought, one of these nights, I'm going to punch Glenn Fry in his giant nose and change the pitch of his voice forever. Unfortunately, that chance never came and he went on to be the bane of my existence during the 80's. His 1982 album sucked ass on a universal level, played over and over on FM radio. He tried like hell to become an actor. From Wikipedia;

He guest starred on Miami Vice in the first season episode "Smuggler's Blues", inspired by his hit song of the same name, and had a starring role in the "Dead Dog Arc" of Wiseguy.^[26] 

But sucked as an actor as much as he did a musician. And a human being. Watch History of the Eagles. He and Don Henley were/are horrible people. 

I love this scene:
The Big Lebowski- The Dude hates the Eagles

ELP-Brain Salad Surgery

And on March 10th, we lost Keith Emerson of Emerson, Lake and Palmer. He nerve damage in his right hand that severely affected his keyboard playing. He died of a single gunshot wound to the head. Policed have ruled it suicide.

So today, while I tried to pull the strings of my life inward on my only day off, I can only declare it ELP day. ELP had some unbelievable albums. Time to listen to a bunch of them.

- - - 

Wednesday

I've worked in 5 places in the last 3 days. I've gotten a reputation for being a whoor (I'll always take extra work,) so they offer it to me. 

Waiting to hear from the place I wanted to rent.

All else is copacetic.